Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

12/10/10

Light at the END-of-the-Tunnel?

I had this revelation today early in the morning. It was hounding me and I kept thinking what is the purpose of it all? I am not going through anything particularly hard that this should pop into my mind...
1. Do you believe Jesus Christ is your Lord and Saviour? Yes
2. Have you received the Holy Spirit? Do you believe the Holy Spirit is within you?Yes
Then there is no light at the end of the tunnel because the light is within you! You are the light in the tunnel. In fact....
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 
Matthew 5.14-16
 Sure enough about 9 hours later, I found myself battling a vision I had: not fully understanding how it could possibly come to fruition when things seemed like they were moving sooooo slowly. I spoke to a friend, tried to speak to my sisters, got on a chocolate/sweet-popcorn high but could not shake the feeling off until I prayed. I prayed for this 'one thing' that was on my mind. I expressed my gratitude for 'It'. And returned 'It' to the Lord's hands. Then I 'podcasted' some sermons because faith comes from hearing of the Word right and God knows I needed my faith restored/renewed/increased. Something someone said reminded me of this verse that had come to me in the morning. I am the light even when I am in my circumstance...I need to keep shining while I am in the tunnel. Trudging pitifully along is not an option. Being shaken and stirred should not blow my flame out. Doubt and uncertainty are no replacement for a sound mind! I am in a tunnel and I am the light. When I reach the end, the vision will be fulfilled and I will still be the light. So I have learned that some lessons may not appear relevant early in the morn but the Lord always equips me to fight these mind games way before the battle. 

7/28/10

Depressed? Sad? Alone?Lost?

Psalm 32:3 
When I kept silent, my bones grew old
         Through my groaning all the day long.

Sometimes pain distracts/deters you from asking for healing...despair makes you think that you will never get past it. But KNOW, maybe not at that moment but eventually you will BE past it.

Call a friend or family to help you through it. although they may annoy you at first with little quotes or bible verses or whatever, those encouraging words strung together with love, laughs and hope eventually become a song that can ease your pain. pick up the phone, send a text...talk to someone. Don't be afraid to let someone in on that little secret-->that you are hurting of course.  No man is an island and your feelings are part of this economy too, along with your jobs, school, raising family, daily chores, exercise regimes, eating etc. If you can laugh in public, you can cry in public too...that is your calling card to seek help. You  don't have to wait till you are in an enclosed space, alone with a sad movie on and then express yourself. There is honor even in vulnerability and fragility. There is strength and a voice in your tears. Do not be ashamed.

Point is, we are the angels we so desperately want to look over us. Go out of your way today and lift someone's spirit up. B an angel! Offer your kindness, sincerity, conversation, time to someone in need. Don't trivialize your hellos and how are yous anymore! Listen, pay attention because there is probably somebody sitting right next to you distracted by pain, sometimes even too numb to even shout or yell out for help. Reach out and touch someone, comfort them, hold them. Faith without action is pointless so your 'hope' that they will be fine is simply not enough. ACT and give that person something to truly believe in.

You are the SOLUTION to the question: How can there be a GOD if He doesn't wipe my tears away? (emotions are part of the economy too)

3/19/10

Random...

what i got from watching Britney and Kevin: Chaotic episodes is that:
apparently a man wants to be loved by a woman who is way above his standard yet loves him as much as anyone needs air...even if he feels like he is not as valuable as the air...as long as she acts and feels that he is. He wants a woman who makes him believe that he CAN always come back home...

a woman wants to love a man so much that her love for anything else pales in comparison. When she feels that way about him, even if he has potential to hurt her, it will never hurt more than she loves him. She wants a man who makes her believe that she will never choose to leave him..

1/5/10

#in2010

I WILL NOT BE NAIVE...
to think that this year will be a bed of roses;
to think that my slate will always be spick and span;
to think that everything will flow smoothly in the direction I want them to go;
to believe that people will not die or lie;
to think my pockets will be filled to overflowing with pounds,US dollars, kwacha whatever the currency;
to think that I will not have to fight or struggle to get noticed or to notice what I must;
to thiink that I will not have difficulty focussing, planning and acting;
to think that there will be no betrayal and pain, harshness and cruelty or shame
or to realise that some desires will once again be put under 'pending'...
Lord, I know that this world belongs to the most devious of thieves and he has come that he may steal, kill and destroy and he will woo some people over as he did last year..

But Lord I know, You are faithful and those who seek You with their hearts will find You and live life to the fullest, while HERE on this very earth and BEYOND the grave!
I know You wake me up to new opportunities and chances each day!
I know that as long as You are there, there is a REASON to hope whether we think we are too far gone or the rest of our world thinks that!
Lord I know, that You line the paths we struggle on with sufficient grace and strength so we can persevere in prayer, love, marriage, families, fidelity,and righteousness!
Lord I know, You heal scars, wipe away tears, and comfort all those who call on You Abba Father!
I know that You keep us out of harm's way even when we don't recognise the extent of it!
I know that You know my name and will NEVER forsake me!
I know that You heal and You give rest....

I know what the devil can do, oh I am not naive!
But I also know Who my Father IS!!!

because in 2009..I prayed for the following:
the element of surprise

10/20/09

Lessons from July

In the last few months, I have learnt: (NB:YOU=ME not anybody's toolkit just one i need to remind myself about)

Choose wisely what you pursue because it will determine your character. Choose wisely how you pursue it, that reflects your personality.

Perseverance produces character...Perseverance can just mean continuance in prayer. Battles/wars can be won on your knees.

Falling in love involves a lot of self control and wisdom. I am pretty sure that it is possible to disengage the lust gear before it is too late. if you find you are falling, use WISDOM as your landing gear. You always know better.

God knows you better so He should tell you what to do...

Habits can be broken.

One must desist from insisting that they are entitled to something.

Asking/Requesting produces humility, absolutely refines the character, demanding on the other hand....well

Wrestling and waiting for His blessing, for His hand to open strengthens one's resolve and faith. Its almost silly to give up when you know that He has heard every cry and seen every tear you have shed then to just walk away in hopelessness/defeat is 'like a kick in His teeth'. Why ask God for anything if you do not Expect it? He most certainly answers fervent prayers from earnest/righteous persons.

Why bother pursuing Plan B if you are praying for Plan A? Faith is like putting your eggs in one basket. Then asking God to carry it....His hands are rock steady. What may seem like your everything crashing down could just be Him spring cleaning...

Align your will to God's so you know what to ask for, or pursue or say or enjoy...

By engaging in conversation with Him from the OT through to the NT, He is constantly revealing Himself...His mercy, His humor, His love, His grace, His plan...

He says knock and it will be opened. He knows to give better gifts than our own earthly fathers so Trust Him when you seek Him. Trust Him when You ask Him.

Remember His will is Perfect. Ask for His will to be done. It is a sure thing!

There may be pain/breakups/tremendous soulshaking changes but it is designed in a way that you will rise from the pits and be prosperous. Have faith in your Almighty Father.

Never stop loving or believing that He has begun His work in you and He will as sure as day finish it! Your desire, dreams, ideas are by His design-now if you only let Him use this tapestry for the purpose for which He created it...WOW!

Have hope. Hope is the cord that keeps one moment attached to the next, much like the umbilical cord from a foetus to the life supply (mother). Hope keeps you close to God.

Faith is a reliable "currency". To speak to God, you have to go by faith that He hears you right? By faith we are saved. Faith is a strong belief. Faith sometimes feels like it has its own bloodstream. In the worst conditions, faith allows you to see past them, gives you strength and draws out a path along which you can reach a good place. It is important that your faith be full ALWAYS! Feed it. Don't inflate it when you know you feel like your hanging from a string or its waning. Nourish it with verses, prayers, stories from your past/others' stories. Ask God to add on to it that you may be encouraged in all things...Faith really is the substance of things hoped for! This faith is in the Lord who never fails..like how the USD used to be-a reliable medium of exchange. If you go to God with faith, well, just remember the woman who bled for 12 years. Her faith saved her when she touched Jesus' garment. Faith is a powerful currency.

Fasting focuses your mind on God. It allows you to feel weak in the flesh and feed your appetite spiritually. How we should be everyday really..knowing our weakness and strengthening ourselves with the Word.

Remember that we are all unique. Give place to respect rather than gossip.

Feel free not to judge. We are, after all, different.

Say Sorry.

5/29/09

PURITY fRoM A NegaTiVe PersPective….

Destiny Connect had an article relating to forgiving our family members and the lessons we can draw from knowing and belonging to our individual families. One piece of advice struck a chord…it said for me thank all my relations for the gifts they have given me, “even if their gift was teaching me what NOT to do”. This is so relevant to my life right now as I have found myself related to “mischievous and adventurous characters”. As human beings, I know we are capable of anything (good and great) and the possibility of being murderous, thieving, vengeful, depressive, violent, envious, adulterous are especially heightened when they are in your bloodline. Nevermind Adam and Eve, look at your own immediate family, the sisters, brothers, first cousins, mothers, fathers! Even if you cut these people out, their blood, as the article says, runs through your veins too.

That behaviour/partialty to such courses of action only need time/certain circumstances to manifest and you find yourself unleashing this behaviour which you think is out of character but ALAS, it is not. So you find yourself being krez, promiscuous, stealing, depressed, resorting to alcoholism/other addictive tendencies and you don’t know Who in the world you are. And some stuff you enjoy so much and others, you wake up and regret so much. Forgive Yourself. You are your first relation. What you have been through is a gift to yourself. Now you know what not to do. You know better. You ought to behave better. Don’t lay it on your ancestors and play the blame game though because since Jesus, your no longer bound by the past. You can break the chain and live an abundant and righteous life. Battles…Yes, you will face beaucoup but you now have Victory through your Saviour.

The issue of the observers arises, those who were in your presence, in the midst of your ‘krezness’, the victims, friends and foes….well you can’t forgive on their behalf. Their unforgiveness is no longer your burden but restitution if at all possible may be your goal. You clearly can’t right every wrong, this is why you are not Jesus but you can ask Him to give you tools such as strength and courage to restore goodness into your life and theirs: For your sake and the multitudes. So these people may have been your uncles, aunts’ children, your brothers etc and they looked at you with shame, disappointment, confusion but did you see their FEAR at all? That moment when they suspected your actions to be contagious OR some venture into the abyss of disbelief.

No way would they do that! They wouldn’t cheat on their husbands, they wouldn’t throw a baby away, they couldn’t kill a person! Long Drones fill the room wherever you go. I beg-o Speak from your experience. If you want to find a way from the hole or the corner where they put you in. Speak..You are an ambassador of your own lifestory and your story could be a saviour in theirs. Teach Us, teach Them how to avoid the HoLe! How to recognize it! Your actions have spoken, yes, but that’s not all you got. Never underestimate the power of your experiences! Ode to Paul! Ode to Mary Magda!

Dear Cousin, you are a gift and I thank you for living and showing me what I must not do. Because of you, I know the repercussions of some actions. I now know that my family will stand with me through anything and bail me out of any problems. I know that there is no disappointment that will crowd out LoVe. I know what spirit to pray against and I am more aware of the Garments of praise and prayer that I am sometimes reluctant to wear; and weapons from the Word I should use so I am not an easy target for sin. You are my family, I have learnt that I will fight for you, I will fight my own body if it refuses to have compassion for you. I will fight my intelligence if it reasons against you. I will fight my own heart if it refuses to ForgiVe you. I love you. I Thank you. I forgive you.

My own disobedience is no less than yours. I am not exempt from this, there are things in my nature and I have to guard against them. If I harbour them, they will eat me up and ruin my life and be fatefully passed on to the next generation and they won’t know what hit them. I want to let you know what I and you are capable of, because it is the same blood that runs through these veins. I am prepared to speak about them if you would like to learn. There is no well so deep that God cannot lift you from, only really bad excuses! Thank God for the Blood of the Lamb that is sprinkled on us that we may be washed cleaner than clean and covers a multitude of sins...the dormant ones, the current, the sequels, the repeats, and the feature films.

So Ask me FaM if you would like..I will Speak! Give your Family/youRSelf opportunities to wrestle their demons in the Light too. when you battle your sin in darkness, you will lose for this is where sin thrives. Fight in the Light! FaM Its okay for you to fight where we can see you, to be krez where we can see you, where we can pray for you and love you. DOn't shun your family away/HiDe YouRSelf, Don't stone FaM outside the city walls (by gossipping/demeaning them/further murdering their characters and Don'T do it to YouRSelf either)...for Him without sin never cast a stone. Be patient with yourself. Don't be rash to decide which side of the fence you are on. Lend an ear, Extend a hand and Reserve judgement for Him who has the right please. And hold on to faith, for from ashes, the Phoenix rises AnD from death Lazarus and Jesus came. Raised by God.

For yours, mine and all our sakes....

A2A

5/22/09

siNGLeDOM





today I am especially aware of my sexuality and my beauty. Off course, instinctively, I want to share it with a MaN in a kiss. not a PG13 kiss but a simple peck (that’s really all) on the cheek of the MaN who has repeatedly prioritized me, constantly encouraged me and vigorously loved me. I want to kiss him as a show of the affection that he allows me to bring out from within my soul. I want to kiss him as a sign of assurance that I enjoy standing by him as much as I do standing up for him. I want to kiss him because I want to say I love you. But I am SinGle. I must PreSERve my right to share thiSortOfpassion until I am within a relationship with a God-fearing, meLoving, faithful, kind, generous, hanDSome and LoYAL man. Take heed, I advertise not my single status, I speak of it as I speak of all my other daily thoughts and ideas. Maybe I will get my nails done today, dress up and go out for dinner, splurge on a hot chocolate fudge sundae (this does not indicate my ‘partner preference’ at all). I need to treat me well…show me how much I love and appreciate this body that is me.

5/15/09

MiSTerY


I dont get him. He loves me, He loves me not. He loves her, He loves her not. Could someone invite me to the workings of a Husbands mind? I know it starts developing from the second his born, well before that, really, when he is in his mother's womb. Then why Husband do you choose to forget your once safest haven was under the skin of a female like me? You love me then leave her. You love me not then leave me. Don't keep me in this gloom, in this expectant state. One day its flowers, kisses, am not sure I smell it right. But I think sometimes its LOVE. you R such a mystery.

someTimes I thinK I love you until you screw me over and leave me for weeks and then I find myself still here, AtHome. waiting for you to come through the door, take off your shoes, sit on the sofa, watch some football, have the sadza I cook with the fish I grilled for you. Then, my husband, I know I love you.

For which misteress would do what i do? which misterEss would get on her knees and pray for you to be released from the devil's talons? which misterEss would love your children when you, their father, forget their birthdays? which misteress would wash your unwell mother? which misterEss would pray for the Almighty's forgiveness if she rightfully felt bitterness toward you?

You hurt me my Husband. You hurt me when you lay with me and expect more. you hurt me when i fear to love you freely for you can disease-me. you hurt me my husband because i still try to look beautiful and impress you. I pretend not to care but when you do..stop and stare..well that makes me joyful. You hurt me, my husband, when you don't pray with me. How then do i know your promises are true? twenty-so years ago, i loved you. i know twenty-so years more, i will love you.

just today live through my pain, my weakness, my sickness, my good health, my joy. stay with me through our vows.

agh..this was in my throat and i was pretending it wasn't! I am teared over these husbands who do not treat my sisters right! i hope i feel better after writing this. i really need to feel better so I can face them. i kinda do write when I am low don't I? Its just that when I am happy like my birthday this week, I am so busy singing and shouting from mountaintops. I am sorry blog..i do transference on you. its just that i aint got nobody i can call at 2am in a drunk stupor to tell them how messed up they are. Pweeeease wat drunken stupor? I don't drink! Believe you, me (ima call you Bee, blogs not such a fancy name is it?) Bee, your such a good listener and I owe you. I DO! hehe

4/19/09

So Simple


In L with the ex you see so i clearly have issues. Hope will sail past it coz it def would be:
It would be, it would be
It would be so simple
What it is
Aint what it was
What should it be
When it comes to you
And how it seems
Aint how it is
There's been a change
When it comes to me, yeah
Oh baby you, oh baby me
Oh maybe we can try another day, another way
All in my mind,
I'm wondering why,
We can not find what was left at the beginning
If I could
Need you again
Kiss you again
Kiss you again
It would be, it would be so simple
Cause I would love you again,
Hold you again,
Need you again
It would be, it would be,
Could it be, could it be so simple
Now it's hardly simple
It's just simply hard,