Hardly enough

I am scared to look through my pictures
And see that I don't have even a single one of you
I am scared to open my mind and review our last encounter
To hear the last words you fed me,
And the ones I  gave back to you.
I tried to lift your spirits, to give you hope with my words
But was I too harsh, insensitive to your plight, your pain
In my bid to show you life?
I am scared to search my efforts and find
That I hardly did enough,
I hardly gave enough
Of my time, of my love...
But you are not here to tell me anything, to reassure me.
All I see are your pretty brown eyes, your bright white smile, your beautiful kind excited face
I can't imagine you otherwise
So it strikes a chord of disbelief...
That you are really gone.
And the lesson is...what is the lesson here?
That I will fight!
To let the love invested in me by the Good Lord who will receive you;
That, that very love will lead my thoughts, my efforts, my time and my finances
I will never again resist the type of need that you had for me.
I love you girl.
And I never knew I would say this past your lifetime....I will miss you!