My husband, my investment

Investment means the production of goods that will be used to produce other goods.  It is a truth universally acknowledged that any woman looking for a husband is expecting more from the outcome than the effort she puts into it. The whole process of getting married, from any woman’s perspective is a production on its own. We start from the first deposit of eye contact which grows to conversation with extra benefits of smiles and giggles and an added kick in your step. 

This works to any woman’s advantage as she begins to pays more attention to her looks and spruces up her image. Then there are the late night calls at 22c per minute or less if on a special saver plan and early morning hello calls without the expense of bad morning breath which could deter you from further investment. But we skip along to the dates-movies, lunches, ice-creams, dinners at expensive restaurants, tingling sensations everytime you think about him. He treats you, you treat him. Yes, we make a lot of good memories early on. We get to know each other-we become familiar with our portfolio. Given the information gathered during this time-is the interest rate likely to go up? If you can see it falling in the foreseeable future, count your losses and get out sooner. If it looks like its going to rise- you do the obvious, and spend spend spend more time. Unlike any market I have seen before, the interest rate is pretty high in the beginning. Now the buyer, her mama, mama’s friends and her homies' main concern is -Is it sustainable?

 Two things I would like to discuss today are- what one has to do to secure such an investment and how to decide whether an investment is good or bad.

2. Investment is usually the result of forgoing consumption. Questions often asked are ‘When do I forgo consumption-before, after, during the investment?’ I cannot begin to tell you of the things one has to forgo in order to secure a good investment but I will try. Truth be told, you can’t go into any investment without financial, spiritual, emotional and physical capital. You have to get your capital up first.  What is this capital and where does this capital come from?

Financial capital- relationships come with new experiences and sometimes the bank of daddy doesn’t finance all these activities such as birthday or valentines or  presents- just to mention a few.   

Spiritual capital- Only the Lord knows what this man will take you through before you say ‘I DO’. You need to spend time with your Maker prior to investing so you know how much you are capable of investing. You need to forgo some activities or pursue other interests that do not contribute to your spiritual capital because you will need this account!!! 

Emotional capital-spend time knowing your emotional triggers and your coping mechanisms. Learn from your past investments and check the balance on this account. If it has gone down- find a positive way of increasing it. Let your conscience guide you on the ways to increase emotional capital. Don’t be tempted by any ‘get rich quick’ schemes (e.g. exes, drugs and alcohol, food, rebounds). There are multiple scams out there and they don’t work! 

Physical capital- by this I refer to physical health issues-get your medical account on check. Check your oral, cervical, ‘twerking’, regular blood checks, endurance... .  Spend time getting your health accounts in order. Thing is you don’t know where this investment may take you so be prepared physically. Forgo random dating and focus on saving your capital so you are in a position to invest wisely. #nosettling on  risky fruitless gambles because you have your capital right.

Of course once you identify your investment…..I believe to get the best return is to focus on ONE rather than diversify your portfolio. Some brokers will tell you otherwise- increase the size of your portfolio, it’s an unpredictable market, et cetera, et cetera. This will leave you financially, spiritually, emotionally and physically broke-a$$. That is why this investment is so unique, This field is not for the faint-hearted. It is for the RIDE or DIEs, THROUGH THICK AND THIN types.  If you put in let’s say one emotional dollar today and you get through a terrible ordeal unscathed or you enjoy a great teambuilding exercise; this will serve as a good foundation in which more activities will be built and then more and more. This is how your investment will lead to GROWTH. Without it, any progress toward marriage would flounder and eventually the relationship will end.

Just another point-be careful where you get your capital from. If other people (foreign investors) are contributing to it-then you will have to repatriate your returns TO THEM e.g. facebook/twitter ‘people’ commenting on your status updates or pictures feed your ego. Your ego influences the type of capital that you invest. These ‘feeples or tweeples’ tend to be fickle and have been known to withdraw their ‘investments’ the minute it seems things are going sour. This is done through distractions like ‘girl, if he doesn’t appreciate you then….; or I know someone better for you or he needs to get over himself, he is not the only fish in the sea’. But if it is financed from within, by trustworthy family or friends or by God-the future returns stay within the family which makes for a wealthy relationship in the future. I am biased toward the God as an investor. All you will owe Him is glory. Obedience is part and parcel of the investment. Which investor doesn’t come with conditions but God has a ‘grace policy’ which doesn’t run out and makes him really really patient but I digress…….

3. Stay or go…decisions decisions

How much does this husband really cost and how does he weigh against your returns? As capitalists or as humans- I believe we are profit seeking yet tend to be risk averse so we should at least get out of our relationship as much as we put into it. Right?

First question- Will your husband last forever? Will the relationship last forever? Nothing lasts forever right? But remember, if this investment can bring forth offspring so this may confuse the whole equation so hold that thought and consider the husband as a single entity which succumbs to time and goes through wear and tear. Or does it?

Husband, men, get better with age and become more attractive when they display other features while in relationships that they wouldn’t do when they are single. I have no scientific backing for this statement. Even if I do, I haven’t bothered to look it up. Men appreciate in their value when they become husbands because they have more experience in patience, tenderness, general understanding of the womankind, even their apearanc changes as they have the benefit of a live-in and talking mirror that Sleeping Beauty’s wicked stepmom would only wish for.  A simple ‘are you really wearing that? Are you going to get a hair cut? If said ‘nicely’ will achieve quite the handsomeness pursuing result that only a wife can draw out from an otherwise stubborn man. If you sell your man after two years of a relationship with you- his value should increase or stay the same unless you really messed each other up.  Remember this is about him and not you. Word to the wise-marry him if the return from marrying him is greater than what you would get if you remained single.

Next up is how to monitor your investment portfolio and understanding how market forces affect your investment. Does anyone have any tips????