its nearly that time again, when my mind swells with memories of you and they crowd out my sleep, forcing my tears out. i miss you so much. i miss your face. i miss your laugh. i miss your love. i miss your trying hard to get better. i miss your advice. you wiped away my tears with your smile, cradled my pain in your warm arms. i saw you last week in your son's eyes. he was looking into the distance and it looked like he was overflowing with wisdom and joy that they became slightly crooked, like yours would. then your first son gave me a 'moon of a hug', it felt like how christening should feel. nothing could dim your spark, you are the brightest star. since you have been gone, we laugh harder now, until it hurts. we make jokes about trees, cats, cows, anything really. we were never like that before. we are trying to fill this gap but its growing bigger. and some of us are falling in,these are your jokes we are telling, these are your children we are loving, your games we are reinventing, your face we are fighting to keep alive in our minds and our beings...but oh how it hurts to know we can't feel you, hear you nor need you. one sack has fallen of the donkey's cart, we are losing weight and the presence we once had on this earth because you are gone. it feels ridiculous to cry for you, just come back already. twist our turns Lady Chaos, Lady Love, Lady Charm. twist our turns.
kiss my nose, pat my back, tickle me then run away and hide under some linen, tiptoe behind me, surprise me, scream with me...live with me.
I won't say it..squeeze it out of me, tickle it out of me.NO! insert giggling, gasping,FINE! breathlessness. FINE,FINE! sigh, Goodbye. i love you. Goodbye. I need you.