What does it mean to be on life support-to be dependant on a ventilator to live? My sister's friends daughter is on one such machine. She has severe injuries from a recent fluke accident and keeps needing one operation after another.

'The ultimate goals of life support depend on the specific patient situation. Typically life support is used to sustain life while the underlying injury or illness is being treated or evaluated for prognosis. Life support techniques may also be used indefinitely if the underlying medical condition cannot be corrected but a reasonable quality of life can still be expected'.- Wikipedia
I can't even know what to pray for right now. Healing? Comfort? Strength? Wisdom? Life? I do know that God is a God of many names and He will lend Himself to this occasion as He sees fit. (For it is not my will I am pushing, but Your will to be done in this girl's life.)


My very own focus list

Only to be taken in the context of how I can save myself this year from repeating last year's mistakes:

  1. No watching movies on sidereel/free online movies
  2. Instead, I will knit, garden, read my bible, pray more
  3. No falling in love with people who I haven't seen in the last two months
  4. I will instead socialise more, interact with people whose breath i can smell
  5. No hating
  6. I will instead appreciate all persons- we are all here for a reason and things of that nature.
  7. No more pressurising God to give me my man now
  8. Instead, I will trust Him because its not like I told Him when I wanted to be born so really- I will let God do God
  9. No more competing with people in my class
  10. I will put effort in my studies
  11. Oh ya, I will sleep at 12 each day-no more staying up and dozing during class, i must just plan my time wisely
  12. Therefore good night!
  13. I will continue with time
  14. have been so unsuccessful at the things crossed...i will see with time if i succeed in all other things

The ice is breaking in York

Since I have been back at uni, it's been freezing. Everything was covered in snow or ice and I rarely left my room. Today, after two days of hibernating-I left my room and went to Church at 6.30pm in the evening. It was already quite dark but it was pretty warm, I felt. I had two pairs of tights on, socks, jeans, a singlet, a top, cardigan and a jacket...no hat and gloves though. I was ready to 'fight the freeze' so much that when I got to the church I was all sweaty-nasty nasty. But that could be because I got lost and took the long way round, like for example, lets say you want to take a step forward right- I took one to the right, four steps forward, went up and down a staircase, took six steps to the left, then finally four steps backwards, one to the left, four to the right THEN called somebody for directions...YES it was my first day at this particular church and yes people, cliché I know but I WAS LOST.

I had been googling for a bible college over the holiday because I promised God that when I came to uni, I would subscribe to one. I didn't do it to get plus points from Him but it is something I have always wanted to do and I strongly believe God would like that for me too. I found Calvary Chapel Church which is a branch of the Calvary Chapel Bible College and I made up my mind to go and check it out. They have two services on Sunday- one at 10am and the other at 7pm so duh I woke up in time for the 7 o'clock one. Before Microsoft Word randomly deleted my first attempt at this blog post- I had written something like this 'I wasn't ready to proclaim my undying love for this church but since the foundations of all good relationships are God and He is love (because they did kill Jesus but He rose again and He was the expression of God's love amongst many other glorious things-AMEN) which is literally undying , so I will proclaim Undying Love for them, not mine but God's eternal love because they are good "peoples" – they give you cake and tea for free, yes frei!!! They seem like good and friendly people PLUS I heard my God's Word there today. I enjoyed it...here are a few titbits I learnt:



to think that this year will be a bed of roses;
to think that my slate will always be spick and span;
to think that everything will flow smoothly in the direction I want them to go;
to believe that people will not die or lie;
to think my pockets will be filled to overflowing with pounds,US dollars, kwacha whatever the currency;
to think that I will not have to fight or struggle to get noticed or to notice what I must;
to thiink that I will not have difficulty focussing, planning and acting;
to think that there will be no betrayal and pain, harshness and cruelty or shame
or to realise that some desires will once again be put under 'pending'...
Lord, I know that this world belongs to the most devious of thieves and he has come that he may steal, kill and destroy and he will woo some people over as he did last year..

But Lord I know, You are faithful and those who seek You with their hearts will find You and live life to the fullest, while HERE on this very earth and BEYOND the grave!
I know You wake me up to new opportunities and chances each day!
I know that as long as You are there, there is a REASON to hope whether we think we are too far gone or the rest of our world thinks that!
Lord I know, that You line the paths we struggle on with sufficient grace and strength so we can persevere in prayer, love, marriage, families, fidelity,and righteousness!
Lord I know, You heal scars, wipe away tears, and comfort all those who call on You Abba Father!
I know that You keep us out of harm's way even when we don't recognise the extent of it!
I know that You know my name and will NEVER forsake me!
I know that You heal and You give rest....

I know what the devil can do, oh I am not naive!
But I also know Who my Father IS!!!

because in 2009..I prayed for the following:
the element of surprise