Still here but J. I C

It is with great sadness that I announce
That one day,
Probably far 
Possibly closer than you may

I will die.

Perhaps before
or after

And I will leave some One 
Or some More to mourn
My memories
And possible regrets:
Never having fully known my heart;
Never having fully let me know yours;
Never having said it all
Or perhaps having said too much of it all.

Never anticipating
Never contemplating
I could leave

It is with the same amount of joy
That angels will rejoice
That I have come to join the saints and the souls
Saved by My Father
Through His Son.

By name I may not know
But by heart and by lineage
We will recognize
One another.

It is with great peace I leave
Having been allowed to
Merge my days with yours.

It is with elation,
I finally approach the Throne,
No longer pleading,
But rightfully standing
In the place He prepared for me.

It is with faith
That I leave you
Knowing I will see you
And be with you
Stripped off of these names and vanities!
Stripped off of this Pain, Anxiety and Doubt!
Stripped off of this armour!
(For I would have overcome
The king of this world)
Stripped from our own humanity
Yet clothed only in His glory.

It is by love I lived
And now,
It is for love,
I leave.

Peace be with you,

Till and beyond our next meeting.  

(in memory of my most dearly departed) 


Soulconomics ramblings

Background is that the TV stole my soul yesterday. All the damned pieces I had just recovered from the other soul stealer that was grief. I watched seven hours of it after a hard day at work. I allowed my subconscious to float through one show where a woman was watching her husband take a second wife. I watched her as she tried to hide her sense of loss so she could celebrate with him. Then I watched another man plant a seed of betrayal in another man’s marriage. I watched a man who was literally prepared to sell his father out for a prostitute.  In my relentless desire to continue my fall down the rabbit-hole; I found another show where a kid manipulates her entire family into believing she had unintentionally killed her half-brother. Oh let’s not even talk about the drama where an innocent man is framed and has to enter a guilty plea in order to serve a shorter sentence for something he has not done. I watched a family make money off of their beauty and scandalous lifestyles and twins who tried to kill themselves decades after their father had successfully done the same thing.  

Then I couldn’t fall asleep for ages wondering what the world, my world had become. And wondering even more, how on earth they had got me to sit there and be their primetime audience? How did I give away those hours of my life that I will never get back to people who will never know my name but know me as a statistic? How did they do it? Because I let them. Yes they have been marketing these things since I was a wee thing in my mother’s fallopian tubes and my father’s testes.  

I willingly opened the door to them by letting that little black box into my home and switching it on to serve my seemingly vapid life. Or so I thought. It seems I constantly have to remind myself that I am more than nothing and my life is full of more than nothingness due to all the marketing that is designed to make me believe I am nothing without that something on the shelves. So if I could just live my life in such a way that if I put it on film at the end of every single day-I would definitely be entertained and proud of who I am. I GAVE  a part of my soul to the producers, executive producers, and directors of other people’s lives yesterday.
But not today. Today I claim back what the Chinese stock exchange seems to be losing and what the European Union claims to be overwhelmed by-potential investors (in the latter case, they are in the form of ‘migrants’. I mean, if given the necessary tools, a refugee can be turned from a potential burden into an investor in any country but hey…). Potential investors in myself, in my being, in my business, in my career, in my life…. 

When you think you have nothing-you have nothing to work with. You have no inputs and therefore can expect no output from your efforts. But effort is an input that we all possess. As humans, we all have the gift of TRYING. And you are guaranteed something, anything out of those efforts but the key thing is to not be distracted from making the effort i.e. from implementing the TRYING strategy.  

I have noticed that any time I am distracted from my portfolio and the instruments that serve me well, my stock falls-soulstock, esteemstock, intelligencestock etc. And then I will need to regulate them again by increasing interest rates-it’s all time and energy consuming really-trying to increase the compliments for a job well done+capturing your lover’s focus on you all the time+still being the coolest mommy and employer EVER+ being a wonderful BFF + generally being a ‘cool kid’…  The level of difficulty in increasing energy levels has fallen obviously due to the easily accessible coffee that stimulates you within five minutes. Even though energy levels are more easily manipulated- the soul still requires more mechanisms to reach equilibrium and ‘aint nobody got time for that’. Once that curve moves away from the equilibrium-contentment-it’s quite hard to get it back because so many factors are involved.  
So long story short; on my production possibility curve I am going to reduce the time allocated to soul stealing TV shows and increase time improving other lifestyle variables such as my health with focus on inputs such as prayer, exercise, hobbies, rest, career, wifey and mommy tings alike.   

Nothing was stolen here. It’s just free market forces in play. Not to knock capitalism but some control measures need to be in place. I mean this girl can float but there really is no good reason to depreciate my currency at this time in my life. It should be on the up and up really. So excuse me while I go and court the right investors…..
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12.2
that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.…Ephesians 4. 22-24


How I feel about the article below......


if you look at it from the point of view of ghetto being a style not in the context of geography or income level then you may see the positive flip. it's unfortunate that it had to be this dude to sell it. He is basically saying rocawear/akoo clothing meeting parisian chic. we need to own the concept of ghetto chic before these already rich folk sell it to us like its nothing we were doing before. We may call Yeezy the sell-out but we are the ones buying the stuff 24-7 but when a N*GGA tries to sell it-we all like it's whack/ratchet/ghetto so Kanye's strategy is align yourself with the bougie and people will buy your ish. Let them sell it and say what they have to, to get you (black folk) interested in it because soon we will be rapping about it and sellin' it in videos and social media. You could start a label called 'N*ggarish' with absolute style, great fabric, expensive as h*ll and some hood aesthetic connoting power and beauty or not (however you may look at it) in it and sell it but we don't and someone beats us to it and we complain...when will we realise we have enough power to do things ourselves if we just got out of our feelings?......We are the New Classic (we are mad at Iggy because she said what we have been thinking all this time and she is the wrong colour)! N*ggas in Paris shouldn't be cool because it says we finally made it to Paris on aeroplanes--> it should mean Paris finally made a significant impact on us to venture there. An overall inferiority complex and 'covetousness' will make you believe that you are not something/someone until you are eating what they are eating next door and we need to shed it off. Just like the women are doing!  We have been the classic since before tea was discovered. Let's look at slavery and colonialism from a different perspective....we were well endowed and everybody in the world knew they couldn't get the fruits of capitalism if they didn't have a strong backbone. Biblically Pharaoh did not want to let the people go because it would mess with his money, his wealth. We are the wealth! We are the prosperity! Let's start allowing words like black, hood, ghetto, n*gga, african to represent class, power, strength, education, peace, unity and beauty not only because that's what sells (because people are drawn to success, beauty and wealth no matter how subtle it is-how else can you explain some of these crazy art pieces going for a million bucks? but i digress) but because that's what it truly means. Looking black is a compliment, being black is a blessing. Black is a system with authors, poets, entrepreneurs, millionaires and billionaires! I will be damned to have my daughter grow up in a world that doesn't define or perceive her blackness as such. But it has to start with us...we need to own what we call ourselves. The devil came to destroy and the best way to destroy something is to tear it apart-to divide it and picking on each other and selling off one another to illuminatis, bad 'gay' or 'straight' rumors is how it happens. Have you ever seen on E!News-no matter how bad LiLo gets, they still talk about her and feature her and invite her to things; and Charlie Sheen? Kendra was a playboy bunny yall; no matter how bad the other 'presidents' were to a certain race, they are still revered and celebrated...they stick together like white on rice. They don't take each other to the Hague! Or crucify each other for sitting front row at fashion shows or call each other out on fake pregnancies. They are a team! They pool their wealth together and start banks, provide loans and insurance, give each other scripts and jobs and accolades. The G8? We need to be like that, like black on ice #rantoverfornow.