Today I learned that

  1. In this life I have to mentally and spiritually prepare myself to live without relying on man
  2. I may be stripped of everything at anytime but I must know how to live without
  3. I must learn to abound and be abased Phil 4.12
  4. I must adapt to living with/without scorn; with or without support
  5. I must learn to live with/without affection, attention or infliction; with/without companions or foes; with or without being loved or hated
  6. One must learn to be without a single thing and yet have everything
  7. After fasting not to act like a hopeless fanatic but to remember the Word of God, His promise and diligence for fasting is preparation for tomorrow Heb 5.14
  8. Faith in God is always growing and I would be foolish to act like it has stayed the same with each situation or trial..each day I operate on a different level.
  9. the devil is paying attention and will try to lie to me and tell me otherwise John 10.10 but I have to remind him that yesterday I defeated him and today will be the same and so will tomorrow because the God I serve is consistent even if nothing else is Mal 3.6
  10. there is no tragedy without a testimony if I wait on the Lord Ps 27.14
  11. I must pray and fast  to be prepared for tomorrow and to live today Matt 17.21
  12. I am blessed Deut 11.26
  13. He will never leave me nor forsake me Heb 13.5
  14. I should pray for all children, take them to the Lord in prayer for the Kingdom of heaven surely belongs to them 
  15. Remember Eternity.John 5.28
  16. My prayers are of more value than my presence Phil 4.6. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 I can comfort you but God can do better than me, John 16.7 I can quieten you but God can restore peace to you John 14.27 . I can make you smile but God can impart His joy Neh 8.10. I can advise you but God gives wise counsel. Ps 25.4-9 Isaiah 48.17, John 14.26

    RIP Alana and Zoe- yours is the Kingdom of Heaven


    Newsboys: Running to you

    I love this chorus
    When everything is broken,
    There’s a door wide open
    You’ll find me running through
    More than just emotion
    My broken heart has chosen,
    Jesus I’m running to You
    I’m running to You


    Miracles come in all packages!

    This is a message to my family to keep the faith, faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains...

    Sonja Taylor

    By Renee Roberson

    On October 24, 2007, a miracle baby named Amillia Taylor turned 1 year old in Miami, Fla. The daughter of Sonja and Eddie Taylor, Amillia was born at 21 weeks weighing just a little over 9 ounces, and is the first baby known to survive after a gestation period of fewer than 23 weeks.

    The Taylors' story begins with a struggle many couples face when trying to start a family – infertility. They conceived Amillia through in vitro fertilization, and there were complications from the beginning. Sonja Taylor was put on bed rest early on in the pregnancy, and was finally released after about four months. "After about two weeks I got dehydrated and went into premature labor," says Sonja Taylor. "I was put back on bed rest but lost my mucous plug." Taylor and her husband immediately headed to Baptist Children's Hospital in Kendall, Fla. The staff there sent her to get an ultrasound and told her they would have to deliver the baby as soon as possible. But Taylor's maternal instinct kicked in, and deep in her heart, she knew her baby would die if it were delivered at 18 weeks."I put my foot down and said, 'You are not delivering this baby right now,'" Taylor says. Although she was leaking amniotic fluid and was already dilated, Taylor refused to let her doctor deliver the baby. She stayed in the hospital, with her mother and husband keeping a constant vigil over here. When she started spiking a fever almost a week later, the doctors knew they had to act soon. They gave Taylor steroids to help develop the baby's lungs and prepared for an emergency C-section. "I was septic, and my uterus and cervix were both infected," Taylor says. "When they took her out, the whole room gasped. They were shocked because she was so small. She had one eye opened and was looking around."
    Amillia Taylor was born weighing 9 ounces and measuring 9 1/2 inches long (about the length of an ink pen). Taylor says the neonatologist on staff didn't know what to do with Amillia because he had never seen a baby so small. She had one nurse assigned just to her.


    Compliments, I love yous, disses

    “Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

    In my quiet time today, I heard 'does a garment in a store get all flustered when someone says how good it looks? does a scarf you are knitting tell you when to drop a stitch?.. I, too, have as much right as that scarf or garment because I did not create myself, All Glory goes to the Maker! So next time someone says 'Well Done', 'Good Job' 'you are cute', 'you are funny', 'I love you' to me, I will redirect the message and give my God the praise and glory because without Him, it would never have been possible. I used to get annoyed at people who said that, 'Praise the Lord' for everything now I get it, I really do.

    On the other hand, if someone says something negative or disheartening about my character or the work of my hands...Go to the Maker and well that's all I got for now....Actually, I will obviously have to engage the Holy Spirit highest gear to protect my own spirit (Ephesians 6. 10-18) with all the armour of truth, righteousness, the Word, salvation,  faith, peace and prayer in the Spirit. This should be done all the time and once your spirit is protected, everything else becomes constructive criticism I guess.

    Special note to me this morning from God was
    'Before you show a man your goodies, show him your God'. This comes from actually hearing of a person who sent semi-nude pictures to entice a potential boyf and I guess I had a stray thought and was honed in. 

    Job 10:11 clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews?
    Psalm 119:73 Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands.
    Ecclesiastes 11:5 As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
    Isaiah 44:24 "This is what the LORD says--your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself,


    Women in Ministry

     In case there's a woman out there who would like to know, here is a clip from Lisa Bevere detailing what she thinks is important to pursue....

    You are an ambassador of the Word of God and not of your own opinion
    No man-bashing/people-bashing!
    1 Timothy 4.6-16
    If you instruct the brethren in these things (previous verses), you will be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished in the words of faith and of the good doctrine which you have carefully followed. 7 But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness. 8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. 9 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance. 10 For to this end we both labor and suffer reproach,[a] because we trust in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those who believe 11 These things command and teach. 
    Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit,[b] in faith, in purity. 13 Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 14 Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. 15 Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. 16 Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.
    gives you the ability to go beyond your own ability-John Bevere

    embrace it!


    Oh my Goodness!

    Hot water bottle -Check! Nurofen-Check! Insomnia-Check!

    I couldn't name the ten commandments today...it says in Prov 3.1...but keep my commandments in your heart for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity and I could only name 5! SMH!
    1. I shall worship no other gods but God
    2. I shall not kill
    3. I shall not commit adultery
    4. I shall respect my mother and father
    5. I shall not envy or covet my neighbour's wife (hehe)
    6. Okay that's all I got...canuimagine! So off to google, with my Bible in front of me of course
    7. 1 And God spoke all these words, saying:        2 “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.        3 “You shall have no other gods before Me.        4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; 5 you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, 6 but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.        7 “You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.        8 “ Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.        12 “ Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.        13 “You shall not murder.        14 “You shall not commit adultery.        15 “You shall not steal.        16 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.        17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”
    8. I will meditate on these now...not forgetting of course John 13.34:
    A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

    Okay 4.48am, good morning. I 'll go and memorize these commandments and think about what they mean.....



    And wisdom was daily His delight...

    Proverbs 3.5-8
     5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
           and lean not on your own understanding;
     6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
           and he will make your paths straight. 
     7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
           fear the LORD and shun evil.
     8 This will bring health to your body
           and nourishment to your bones.

    In Hamlet, Polonius says
    This above all: to thine own self be true.

    And this has been my anthem for the last couple of months I think or perhaps it is one of those philosophies I have always subscribed to subconsciously. Today, I learned that this was possibly the root of my problems....being ''true to myself above all'', above everything, above God. Who am I to so highly value my opinion, my thoughts, my ideas, my truth...I have only 27 years on me. Faith in myself goes up and down depending on the season, outfit or someone else' s opinion of me..How then can I be true to myself when myself is so easily swayed or dissuaded? I literally 'go with the wind! these days.

    SO yesterday, after watching Lakewood Church service with Joel Osteen, he spoke of the value of the 100 dollar bill and no matter what crap it goes through, it is still a 100 dollar bill. That's me! My value never changes no matter how many things I have done, put myself through or to, no matter who likes me or not...My value was determined on that Cross at Golgotha where my Jesus was crucified. I have known for a while now that I have been backsliding and like I said to my friend just last night 'its not really the big bad blatant sins that are hurting my relationship with God but I am letting the little sneaky ones in'. And when one burrows into your flesh, it has Human Bot Fly effects! YUCK!

    So yup I let 'lean on my own understanding' in. I let 'my own wisdom' in and they settled and laid eggs and pride drove humility out! Honestly, I didn't even feel like reading the Bible or going to church yet I was parched...thirsting for God's blessing but I guess I was scared He would tell me I was wrong about a lot of things, I was terrified He would chastise me in the worst way. I had judged myself and found myself ├╝ber guilty but haha MERCY SAID NO! (Cece Winans). BLAH BLAH BLAH ETC ETC

    WISDOM is where I landed today and I learned that:
    1. Proverbs 9:10. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding if I know God, I will understand among other things that Jer 29.11 and Rom 8.28 are true in all things and a whole more other things of course. 
    2. Prov 8 I need to get with the 'prudence and understanding heart' program (v5)
    3. Prov 8. 6-9. Wisdom says excellent things, right things, truth, righteousness, nothing crooked nor perverse. Wisdom speaks 'plain and right'. (P.S. Truth is spoken wisely not just blatantly and raw. It is also packaged in the 'righteousness deal'. not my truth but God's!)
    4. Prov 8.11. There is NOTHING that I may desire that has greater value than wisdom (yup job, hubby, kids, money, clothes, car, fame, fortune, businesses, blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, nothing? really? NOTHING!). 
    5. Prov 8.12 DISCRETION is necessary (it is unnecessary to air mine or other people's laundry even to a friend or family member who will never tell, N2K basis only!).
    6. Prov 8.13 I must hate evil, pride, arrogance and a perverse mouth (I must unlearn these skills with immediate effect. yes no more cussing in my head or with 'people-who-have-known-me- for-ages-and-no-me-better-than-that, no more racial slurs, judgmental comments in my head)
    7. Prov 8.14. Wisdom counsels (NOT ME, my experience, my opinion-->Wisdom from God's word brought to my lips by the Holy Spirit), Wisdom is understanding (I can't blame weird, immaturity or different anymore but aim to sympathize and empathize and listen and understand.....), Wisdom is STRONG!!!!
    8. Prov 8. 27. Those who seek wisdom will surely find it!
    "Now then, my sons, listen to me;
           blessed are those who keep my ways.
     33 Listen to my instruction and be wise;
           do not ignore it.
     34 Blessed is the man who listens to me,
           watching daily at my doors,
           waiting at my doorway.
     35 For whoever finds me finds life
           and receives favor from the LORD.
     36 But whoever fails to find me harms himself;
           all who hate me love death."


    Over it all

    I am over it yet I am still not above it!
    My value hasn't changed, it is still the same.
    I am God's!
    tired of limits, tired of rejection
    tired of false hope
    tired of blaming myself
    so I am freeing myself
    taking the shackles off my feet
    taking these mental braces off
    coming into my own
    coming into my Father's own