So today, I watched what I had always thought was the best movie ever...and I had a reality check. I will probably always love that movie but it is time to let go the influence it has upon me. Today, my eyes were opened!!!
- Sanaa Lathan in the very first few minutes decides to become girlfriend to the guy who pushed her to the ground because he didn't want to lose a game. Given they were only 10 at the time, I can excuse it as the unmistakable 'he hits if you likes you', 'he chases you around the playground if he likes you', 'he steals your hat if he likes you' myths that are not only untrue but are painfully so. (Case in point: Mtandwa hit me on my back in primary school and I am still looking for that dude because somewhere in my head I think he liked me- this kind of behaviour should not be encouraged)
- Omar Epps is the hot shot in high school and all the pretty girls want to be with him. Somehow, all the pretty girls are made out to be 'trashy whores' (please note these girls are not light-skinned played by Gabrielle Union, Shar Jackson etc Another stereotype??). Again, this is not necessarily true in life. I have hated my fair share of pretty girls thinking that they lack substance, and are too 'grown-up for their own good' and they 'sleep around' and steal your man when you are too busy having an ugly day. Hmmm, given its taken me more than a quarter of a century to think of myself as 'pretty', I am not going to accept that derogatory outlook on pretty people without a fight! (I would sincerely like to apologise to all the pretty girls I victimized in all my primary schools. In high school, I couldn't really bully you but I begrudged you of everything and in uni, well, I secretly b#tched about you until I got to know you better of course. I am so sorry).
- Sanaa wasn't ugly or remotely bad looking just because she tied a pony-tail throughout high school and college and played basketball. That girl did not suddenly become the 'belle of the ball' because she put on a tight white dress, got her hair did and wore heels on prom night, she had always been the 'belle of the court' and just a beauty. I guess all I am saying is that to impress an audience of a certain kind, you have to dress the part, but to be beautiful, you only have to be yourself darn it! (This here goes out to my friend's teammate who I dissed once. Now I know the extent of another human being's physical ugliness is a mere reflection of mine).
- Them kids had no business having sex at that age and making it seem all cool and nice when its her first time. From what I hear, a girl's first time HURTS! There never really is that guarantee that you will be a couple after that...anyway unless you already were of course. (If your experience was different and special, please enlighten us).
- Blah blah to all the other bits which didn't hit me as much as this next one....
- It is not cute to pine over a guy for 5 years, then (even if he he is not engaged) tell him how you feel. Boo hoo, that boy may not get back with you just because you still like him. He may enjoy playing 'basketball' with you in the middle of the night because you are buddies of course and he gets some 'first mover' advantages but 5 years is a long time girlchild to expect to get that sizzle back. Just because he was your first doesn't mean jack all! And if you are chasing him down, it probably is because he was your first...you poor thing! So before you go there, do you really want to put yourself through all that? (this is to all the virgins out there, don't let movies fool you into believing that sleeping with your high school sweetheart is the greatest thing since facebook- its not really, in the long run anyway, you will see. TRUST ME)
- My lesson learned is If you get the chance to leave the country and pursue your dream, take your heart with you wherever you go. Don't leave it with your ex!(And if you bump into him abroad, don't try and rekindle anything please. This could be hazardous to your health. Yes I have done it all before. If there's unfinished business , sometimes it means you had no business starting it in the first place. Just move on graciously).
kisses n cuddles
P.S I think I will watch brown sugar now hehe just to see the misconceptions I had of love more clearly.