wHa2Do wHen U Lyke a BoY/MaN

This is for me as a Christian Single Woman who lives in Lalaland and vacations in reality. Thank you Jamie Watt.

First, realize that this guy is God’s son. You should be in a mindset from here-on-out that seeks to edify him and sanctify him—If your actions do anything that compromise his purity or harm his relationship with God, then you need to back away immediately.

Second, start praying for this guy. Do not pray about this guy, yet.
- praying for his life and spiritual growth, not about whether you should date him.
- praying for his well-being as soon as possible. In fact, the writer thinks it’s a good idea to pray for a handful of guys. You should pray regularly for your interactions with the closest guys in your life. After all, your husband will probably come from this grouping. Pray that you respect them. Pray that your friendship edifies them and their faith. Pray that you don’t lead them on or become flirtatious.

Third, find out if this guy is a Christian. The guy has to be a Christian for you to even begin to think about being pursued by him. I wait until this step to mention this, because it’s important to go through steps one and two with any guy in your life—Christian or non-Christian. However, hopefully this guy’s faith is not just one of the characteristics that legitimizes your crush but one of the very things that caused it.

Fourth, are you even ready to be dating? Just because you have a crush on a guy doesn’t mean you have to allow him to pursue you. If you’re not ready, then you are doing him a disservice if you allow him.

Fifth, begin to analyze the merits of this crush.
- Is it simply based on appearances or is there more to it?
- Do you admire his character? His faith? His personality? If the crush is simply based on appearances or a brief moment of chemistry, then don’t necessarily give up.

But you should begin to thoroughly analyze if this guy is really the one you’re looking for who follows the Biblical picture of a bride.
- Do I—as 1 Peter 3 says—have a gentle and quiet spirit that hopes in God?
- Do I—as Proverbs 31 says—open my hand to the poor and open my mouth with wisdom? Am I modest in the way I dress and conduct myself?
- Ephesians 5 describes a wife trusting and submitting to her husband; do I fit that model? Do I see myself being a good mother to our/his children? All of these questions might seem rather serious in nature.
- But at this point, I should be evaluating whether I am dateable. And there’s no sense dating if I already know that I do not follow the biblical scope of what kind of wife I want to be.

Sixth, ask myself if I can serve him. Can I help him grow in his walk with Christ? Can I challenge him? Don’t just analyze if he is right for me, but if I am right for him.

Seventh, seek the wisdom of Godly people. Ask wise people around you if they think you (or him) are ready for a relationship. Ask them if they think it would be a good match. And ask them for accountability if you do begin a courtship.

Eighth, begin a relationship with the intention of marriage. The whole “with the intention of marriage” thing might seem intimidating, but the writer has actually learned that spiritually mature girls are not afraid of it. In fact, they like it. Be serious. Don’t continue to flirt and lead him on. You should become friends and nothing more.

If all these steps seem like too much, then just realize that they are the only thing that differentiates you from a non-Christian woman in this process.


the DiffErenCe between Sir Worry and Ms FaItH

Today I know, when I worry I consider things to come with a fear ridden attitude. When I have faith, I look at the unexpected with a hope-filled attitude.

When I worry, I see all those things on TV as unattainable. When I have faith, anything is possible.

When I worry, I hesitate to think about that which I am expecting. When I have faith, I am excited about the things to come.

When I worry, I have an anxious disposition. I wrangle with my reality and my dreams and always end up stammering and tripping over my thoughts as I try to make them into words. When I have faith, I cannot sit still. My movements mirror the fluttering in my stomach and a smile escapes each time a thought fleets by. I can hardly wait to express my sentiments over an issue and have to hold them back to prevent making green ogled monsters of my peers.

When I worry, I lack in all things. When I have faith, I know I am always sufficient and well-prepared for each moment.

When I worry, I steal from others’ moments by disengaging supportive gears and dappling in worst case scenarios. When I have faith, I respond with encouragement and prepare to tell of positive adages. I illuminate.

When I worry, I stay in bed. When I have faith, I stay in bed and imagine how to live out different scenarios.

When I worry, people get ill and die. When I have faith, people may get sick and possibly die but definitely rise again.

When I worry, I am the victim of my existence. When I have faith, I am the heroine in mine.

When I worry, I cannot love. When I have faith, I am fuelled by love and embrace all I meet. I cannot do enough to show them just how much I care.

When I worry, there’s no turning back. When I have faith, every single memory is a necessary stitch in my life.

When I worry, I can not. When I have faith, I will.

When I worry, my actions come to a dead end; when I have faith, I can inspire. My thoughts and ideas live past me.

When I worry, I try. When I have faith, I achieve.

When I worry, I cuss, when I have faith, I bless…..you get the gist right? Faith should always take premise in your life. Fight to believe in prosperity and goodness. Encourage yourself so that when those dreams of yours throw a bouquet, you are already at the bottom of the stairs at the steeple, hands thrown up, ready to catch them and breathe them into life.

I am so excited!!!



I AM FAMOUS, yes i sed IT

faRambling awaaaaay:I am officially starring in my own TV show! Doing it like i am doing it for Reality TV. Live on E! Its nice to come across simplicity in the midst of Iran, Swine flu, turmoil and confusion BUT especially when going through a lonely hearts section in the newspaper AND even more when there is no lonely hearts section in the newspaper but on a list in front of you and your name is the only one ON IT. Then its absolutely wonderful to find men who are as rich as pirates but only want simple things OR men born into fame and celebrity and ALL they seem to enjoy are simple waters, simple waves, good music and great food. That lifted my spirits for a second, and in the same breath, quietened my mind as I realized that I do not need to try so hard to land myself a great man. I don’t need to try so hard to want to be on a famous TV show. I don’t need to try so hard to make an impression. I can be me, simply me. As the waves are. As the trees are. As the sunsets are. As the wind is. As children are. As God is. My beauty is innate. My character is Godscripted. My intelligence is constantly being sharpened. My skin is the color of sand from which I am created. All the above are beautiful and endearing before you even speak their names. You recognize their beauty almost instantly. And when you pry and truly observe the nature of the water which appears so forcefully yet rises so delicately with each particle linked to the next as if dancing to the sounds beneath the ocean…I AM really shady at descriptive writing but waves and water are my favourite things to watch and feel. Do I like swimming? Not particularly, I don’t like being cold so if I can avoid cold water I do. Do I surf? Any water sports? Nuffing at all. It just calms me to look at it and to lay by the beach and hear pebbles escaping into the sun from the deep waters. Anyway…simple things, I love seafood. I love quiet peace and loud peace. I like sandals. I like dancing and doing my chores in heels when I am at home. I like sandwiches and tossed salads. I have the character of a Moroccan display meets Nyanga mountains. I refresh myself when I make these observations about myself..that which I admire about others/am enticed by seems so seductive only because its an image of myself beckoning me to embrace the sensuous and simplicity within ME. So hello John Mayer, Brody Jenner, John Legend, Dante Smith, Christopher Bridges…I like you because you remind me of me. Shame, If you stepped out of the ‘bondage’ of celebrityhood, there’s a woman there who need not impress you but who you will recognize INSTINCTIVELY as you recognize a medium rare porterhouse steak on your palate, OR yourself in the mirror. I DARE you, Matt Damon did. Neyo kinda is. Tyra is. Who knows who else but see its important to see that there are women who are not in those queues waiting for your autograph (groupies), they want you to have THEIRS. Because, surely if your bio describes you accurately, then we could be really good friends.


Portrait on the Wall

There’s a picture of me on my mother’s dining wall. I hated it until I began to write this. I will explain why...It was taken when I was fifteen I think. All I know was that it was at my unfashionable peak! I had corn rows that were starting to loosen. I must add CORNROWS…not a good look for me. Anyway I was wearing this gorgeous black and white shimmering dress. Please note that this description does not do the dress justice. Then I had to go and wear a pair of blue silvery pants underneath. I somehow thought the trousers wouldn’t show and I giddily posed for each photograph as if there was no problem down under. Cameraman didn’t bother to tell me this through his digital camera. RIPOFF? Anyway this particular photograph shows my unshaped eyebrows, my hormonal oily skin and the pimple spread on my forehead. It’s a sideview photograph and this was not the dimple side so I sincerely believed, until now of course, that it was my worst side EVER. I have tried to be rid of it (the picture), I hid it, I swapped it, I used to put it facedown when boyfs came over and my parents always flipped it on me. “Your beautiful. You look so sweet. That’s who you are, why must you be ashamed? What are you saying about us if you think your ugly”…guilt trip ensues, I get on the train and give in. END RESULT: Picture stays up!
Well I looked up at it as I was having brekkie with mum, today. Then I looked at my mum and I felt authenticated (so stealing from AKSuperwoman). I am the child of an educated, sophisticated woman. She despises no one and respects each person to his/her core. She is always improving herself and she perseveres regardless of the odds against her. She is prayerful. She milks every experience so it becomes a foundation of growth for herself and everyone she encounters. She loves. She teaches. She is also quite assertive. She works so haaard. I tear up when I speak of her so LONGSTORYSHORT…I nearly cried as I looked at the portrait on the wall as I hoped and realized that one day I could be a minute/a second of the woman she is today. So bring on the pimples, bring on the mismatched outfit and hoily (porous and oily) skin because I am blessed that the picture on the wall is my mother’s daughter.


RANDOMNESS AHEAD: DreamingDreams, LivingDreams and PlaninLife

I haven’t read anything other than proposals, terms of references, multi-sectoral health and I am BoTired! I suppose I am learning my trade but I feel a tremendous void in my life...the one which can be filled with games, unplanned visits, cake and coffees…I miss that. The other day my teamleader said HE enjoyed my laughter and I went on strike. I started laughing within so I often choked when I drank my water, because I was laughing so hard INSIDE! i mean how dare he say, HE ENJOYED MY LAUGHTER! But I am back, back to hysterical giggling, and Julia Roberts-like howling laughter from Pretty Woman. For sure, you would see my tounsils if I hadn’t had them removed when I was 4. I think I just took it too personally because.. because because and expressing my Joy again. I love the SounD too.

Anyway, I woke up today because I had had the most eventful dream. This week I have been having eventful nights and zero to hardly any sleep since I had proposals due left, right and centre…so I slept early last night. At 2230 after, CSI, I actually slept during CSI but anyway. I got into bed around 1030pm. My mum used to force me to sleep in my bed and if she caught me snoozing on the couch, she wouldn’t leave the lounge until I dawdled to my room in a sleepy stupor. Shes changed now, more accepting and accomodating. Anyway so mosquito net down, eyes shut…..dream dream then 6 am I feel myself waking up and I fight it. I had just met Barack in my dream n he had shook my hand. I tell myself wait, theres that other section you need to dream about to finish it up…like it’s a Greys Anatomy episode. But when you are awake, you are awake. There’s nothing you can do about it. Sure you can imagine things, plan your day, with your eyes shut but the flickering of your eyes will set your sweet mother on you and she will say GOOD MORNING and list a whole lot of activities that you wouldn’t really plan for yourself. So if you wake up before your dream is over, finish it off in real time!(you really have to be discerning here, theres some dreams that will land you in prison/shamed soooooo Be Wise!)

So I woke up and I have decided to live my dreams because once you dream them, its up to you, whether you leave them behind your eyelids in the stillness of night OR to just get up and do IT. I thought it was impossible to be guided by your dreams until I remembered Joseph the Dreamer as I walked out of my house today. His haters were his own brothers. They put him in a hole and sold him for DREAMING. His getoutofjailcard were his DREAMS because he dreamt so much that he could understand others’ dreams..with God’s hand upon him of course. So I am going to dream dreams when I am asleep and live dreams when I am awake.

SO to meet my dreams, I need to PLAN my course of action….I have watched this movie that said, start your plan of action from the ending and then work backwards….

10. Work in Washington somewhere in the Department which deals with funding to LDCs for their health sectors
8. Complete a PhD in Health Sector Management within different Political Structures
7. Gain work experience from an internationally recognized organization…the Clinton Foundation preferably
6. Win a scholarship to pursue a PhD at Harvard
5. Complete Health Economics Masters degree
4. Apply for a visa
3. Open a foreign account
2. Make a decision which university to attend

'FamilyPlaNNingMethoDs' coming when I have a man…I don’t mean it like THAT, just I think the four kid dream, hot preacher man, durawall (no picket fence in Africa), swimming pool, 2 jeeps, wat wat will come later….yes I know I will be 30 but hey!!!

And should anyone decide we have the same dream or is inspired by mine and pursues it too, its cool because the sooner this dream is lived, the better! So I don't mind, Go AHEAD. Most people are living Martin Luther King's dream anyway..


FrOm DoGs to PinK to JoY

My mind loves him, absolutely treasures him. He is not the type of Kid most girls would stumble over. I think he is the kind only my heart would recognize, it seems. His need and his triumphs resonate with all the trinkets of my character. I feel I can offer him guidance, my wit, my smile when he needs encouragement, I can give him warmth from the fondness I feel for him, I can secure his confidence because I keep such a watchful eye over him. I love him dearly, I do.

I can’t decide whether I have felt this more for a man or for my gorgeous Jack Russell pup, Hugo. Oh the dilemma!

LOOKING BACK OVER MY SHOULDER insert instrumental from Mike and the Mechanics
I see this cute little thing standing on a stoep (stubhu). She is wearing pink shorts and a pink blouse outfit. I think she has a yellow cardigan on or she could be bearing arms, I am not sure. Her ears are pierced and her eyes are shut so tightly. She’s clutching her stomach and looks a bit stiff with her knees slightly bent. Oh how cuuute, she has little black polished shoes, the ones with a strap going across from left ankle to right ankle. I immediately adore her. I look at her harder. Her mouth is wide open and she’s tipping her head back… I can see her two front teeth and an enormous dip on her left cheek. That dimple is definitely too big for her, meThinKs. Now, I can hear her laugh. Wow..I can’t believe it. Her laugh is so spirited and has absolutely paralysed her AnD astounded the older girl who sits at the edge of the stoep with her. What could be so funny little-girl-in-pink? What wouldn’t be? She seems to answer as she takes a breath and briefly turns her head toward me, before she pours out another deluge of giggles….

I wish I could wake up and lay down on laughter. Joy is such a wonderful foundation upon which to build memories. Tragic days have definitely won permanent residence on memory lane And are sorely recalled as the days I cravedNdugSodeep for that paralyzing laughter when I was three. It saddens me to think that I will be buried on a day when people may find it inappropriate to laugh…..LAUGH today, open the floodgates of your souls with the most distinctive expression of JOY!


thAt devil IS a LiaR! GOD is A Victor!

God is good and something in the air is trying to make me feel otherwise but He reigns, He is my King, mine. He loves me for my sake.He stays with me for my sake. He forgives me for my sake. He gives for my sake. He frees for my sake. He lived for my sake. He died for my sake. He rose again for my sake. Nothing can prosper unless its from Him. The victory belongs to Him. The tears can come. He will wipe them away. The pain can come and He will comfort me. I shall not fear nor be overcome! I refuse, in your name Jesu. My faith in my King suffices to wash over this fear. Talitha Koum, He says. I rise my Lord. I rise! Amen!

As for you, how dare you try and take my joy! How dare you use my aunt’s memory to weaken me! How dare you use family against family! How dare you use our desires as the foundations of our graves when they are meant to establish our homes and our dreams! How dare you twist them! There is no room for you here. Take your greed, take your lust, take your unforgiveness, take your selfishness, take your arrogance, take your cruelty, take your unhelpfulness, take your fear, take your anxiety, take your pride.

I am no fool, I have sought wise counsel and I have gained knowledge and affirmation that my God is my Keeper, my Shelter, my Harbour. You thought I would bury my head, binge drink or eat huh? curse God and die...pssh you have left me where I need to be….on my knees, a little broken, contrite and humbled! But As I rise, I know I am stronger for I am full of His Spirit. It never wanes like you. you are fickle and His Spirit is true. Get thee behind me! Get thee behind us!

My Lord, My God. You have not forsaken me. I breathe still. Glory2God!



Flo Rida has goooooooooone. Yay. I am liking and "crushing" and hoping again..just in case you were wondering. God Bless You my future Hubby. This Post is for you. I hope your family is great and growing in God. Am getting groomed for all sorts of things right now. Mum is hosting dinner to a huge group. How does she do it? I hope I will master it by the time I meet you. Stay in the word! Stay strong! the picture is just a clue on what i like. I may change my mind though to suit your budget, don't get scared now!! Okay I have to go host...byeeeeeee



the Straw that broke the Camel's BaCk....

I GET Why we must date before declaring I LOVE YOUs so you learn whether the object of your affection/desire will SUPPORT you ..Like a bra, like a bosom buddy, like your big toe, like a spine, like a running mate. Dude, You don’t have to minimalize the things I choose to follow by calling them useless, and impersonal…I enjoy facebook, you don’t. Fair enough. I tweet, you won’t. I get that. What is the difference between black people in Cape Town and Black People in Birmingham? You dare to mock the African nature of the place while you cohabit with the same Africans in a country that is not your own. Yes, I dare to buy a $$$$$ ticket to join my fellow Africans to acquire an education that maybe of the same caliber as yours but I STILL WANT TO GO THERE. I can’t believe I liked you. You clearly don’t have my back! Okay I geT iT, he is not mine! I really don't want to see anymore shadiness in his character....it doesn't need TO get TO repulsion but Aaaaargh!


ByE ByE Grudge!!!

It has been gnawing at me for some time now, that I am about 20 steps behind my gurl. She is well on her way to the 2.5 children, after having already signed the deal to be married to a hot-sturdy-employed-black man. She has completed a Masters Program and works behind a 5 foot desk with an executive leather swivel chair. Her assistant and her dreams are at her beck and call.

The Green-eyed monster says, “And HERE you are!”

“But I have always known that my current job was just a stepping stone to the freedom of financial success”, I reason, “And will one day open the door to a hefty paying job”, I add.

I have already begun to make the necessary expansion plans toward success. I have applied to universities with the courses which appeal to me. Until recently, I was anxiously anticipating their replies and am now gallantly receiving them. My mind was (as skilful as any recovering low-esteemed person’s mind would be) prepared for the rejections from all four universities but I have received three replies ranging from conditional offers to definite offers…the when-will-you-come-already? replies.

I honestly never anticipated choices. The dilemma lies wherein I have to choose ONE! And my criterion of choice, until this morning, was to go to the highest ranked university of the lot. So, I obligingly googled them: My first preference naturally was the A league one. Number 2 and 3 were closely listed….quite a difficult one to call. And the last one was actually my favourite yet the lowest ranked. It is also located in the capital city and it would have been absolutely expensive and distractive to study there. So it’s clearly a toss up between #2 and #3. Blaaaaaaaaah! So how do I choose?

When I laid my head to sleep last night, I had a light bulb moment (very inappropriate because I was so sleepy and did not need my mind turning on lights!). I didn’t want to go to #2 or #3 because my aforementioned friend went to one of them and of course. Yep my subconscious confronted me and declared that I believed I was better than my gurl in spite of all her achievements. It’s true! I had told myself over and over again after she had jumped over each hurdle that I was still smarter. I was more well behaved. I was better FULL STOP. Yet, I have always felt like each time I was about to embark on something, she had already gone before me. The good, the bad and the ugly! She has an adventurous spirit, my gurl does. And now this! I wanted to set my own perimeters and challenges and AGAIN I find that she has accosted them all. What is left for me? Not even a university, I thought.

The shame woke up with me today, and although I really wanted to write a hilarious article or a list of my dreams…I had to deal with this first. I had to confront the Who-Is-Greater complex similar to the one the disciples had. He, who wants to be considered first, must be ready to wash others' feet and be prepared to be last! With this realization, I unsaddled my high horse and got on my knees as I was confronted with the knowledge that I am not greater/better than her. Great, Yes. (And only because Jesus died4me). Greater, Nah!

LongStoryShort: I am human. I am God’s responsibility. This is why He gave me the Holy Spirit and the Bible. His divine purpose is my calling. I need to pursue it with an open and grateful heart. I am not better than any of my friends for we are all great. Only one Jesus died for each of us..not 514 different “Jesuses” depending on each person’s worth. ONE! I will be proud and excited to walk the route where others have been positioned for His blessing. Ultimately, God chooses our routes. I am sorry I was jealous boo. You deserve abundant goodness just like I do. And you have received goodness just like I have. I, on the other hand, need to learn to abound and to be abased and not to use your life as a measure of mine. I need to be content with my person, my goals, and my life so I don’t overshadow your blessings with my insecurity. I look forward to celebrating your every breath and step on God’s highway to His Kingdom.

I have laid my grudge down now, it was keeping my mind and head full….Lord, I am ready to receive your blessing now.


God's growing my standards,my expectations, my love, my choices, my mind every single day. I can no longer be contained by my past so I DO have to let go of the bad stuff I am holding on to. Its true, I am not a compost heap or a recycling bin. Grudge In, Grudge Out Full Stop! My past is already one day short, it can't contain me. Clearly, I am enjoying the sound of my own voiceInmyHead but its true, yesterday is a day short...I can never go BACK! I don't wan2 shortchange myself by going back there. I AM FrEE!


tHank YOU LoRd.

You heard our prayers and You knew what to do with them. You heard them when the words were stuck in our throats, rolling down our cheeks and when we were in silence. You are so faithful Lord. I have learnt that no matter what the circumstance is, all the facts or no facts at all, You are Victorious over them all. I battled with optimism in my own head because I refused to look at it as a small thing. I saw how magnanimous it truly was and I struggled to put a smile on my face. Daniel in the lions den was a big thing. Curing someone from a bleeding problem is a big deal. Knowing a person you meet at the well in and out is so amazing Lord. I am quite ashamed of the fear I had in the face of the latest battle. Yet, in spite of it, you grew my faith and wisdom. Once I prayed for something, i comforted myself saying it was a small thing, I said, God, You can fix it because it is small. Yet, it was such a big deal, and I underestimated it. It seems the smaller I view things, the smaller my hope and faith are I think. I made it look small so I could cope I suppose. Now I have seen Your hand excel in the large things...I will believe in you in the face of all my realities. Cancer, AIDS, Diabetes, Job hunting, Mortality, Joy, Sadness, Phobias, Child Birth, Operations, Injuries, Plane Crashes, Blindness, Deafness, Sex, MArriage, Divorce, Peace, Love are all big things BUT Your word and Your Aid is greater than all these. I will never belittle anything again to feel bettr when I hope. Your deeds surpass all my understanding. I believe in You. Your provision is Absolute Lord. I am so grateful and humbled. I will trust you with my all. Thank you Abba Father. Amen