I miss this Christina..The Right Man

Lord i pray that my father will walk me down the aisle. Amen
That is all.
 When I was 18, I had no idea how to dance to this...thank you Lord for growth!


Birthday Wish......Number 1 on the list

Find at http://www.consciousclothing.eu/index.php

i like T.I

Facts: I like my Hip Hop. I loved ATL. I don't necessarily buy some tracks on itunes because of all the b-words and n-words but just cause someone's breath stinks..doesn't mean you won't speak to them right? Sometimes these dudes say some crazies but they make sense too. That's my story and I am sticking to it! Glad his back.

I love these lines..'Think the power is in your gun but over all it’s in your heart' and 'I ain’t mad I forgive em, God I know they aint mean it'


What is Love????

I never realised there was a song that spoke so true until right now...this very hour! Thank you J-Lo!
Nana nana nananana nanana nananana nana (x2)
People told me i should write a love song
Girl you sound so angry
You could use some variation
But i’m lonely
Negative relations
I been hurt so many times
I don’t have the patience


I never said I would write all throughout my 40 days..ok?

Well here's an update on my affairs...
  1.  NB...I am so not that light, just wanted to place emphasis on the HAIR
  2. Confession: After declaring my love for God all throughout the week, I didn't go for a single Easter Service. Not Good! I warped my sleeping timetable and found myself asleep from about 10am to 6pm everyday. Something had to give and it was fellowship with my other church peers before God. Sorry Lord.
  3. I confessed this to my Lord and true to form- He forgave me Isaiah 58.18 so we cool? We cool and I will be more diligent in our relationship.
  4. I cut my hair to a 'fro. FINALLY! I just did it last night. I also gave myself a manicure and pedicure etc. I catered to myself last night and it felt too good. I am really blessed to love myself this much. I always imagine Jesus washing other people's feet when I give myself a pedicure. How humbling to have the soles of your feet (presumably the toughest and roughest part of your body being touched and washed by PERFECTION)!.
  5. My schoolwork is like my adversary at the minute but I am trying to make it my friend. I am trying, really I am. But at crucial times..I distract myself with daydreams, blogging, music aaaaaaaagh. Schoolwork..you are important to me and I want to excel in you so more people will get to know about you SO WORK WITH ME!!!! Hebrews 4 indicates that those who believe in God ''will enter His rest and cease from the weariness and pain of human labours'' (Bible and Joyce Meyer). so I will persevere with the faith that God will help me. 


My Love
I thought I would get lost getting here
then I followed your smile
and your thoughts
I thought I would get lost coming here
then I felt your strength
and saw your confidence
I thought I would get lost coming here
then I heard your prayers
and your dreams
I thought I would get lost coming here
then you turned around, took my hand, held it tight
breathed life and hope into me and kept me close to your heartbeat
I thought I would never get here
But you found me....


When the mirror talks back...

I keep telling you,
That my greatness is not in my strive.
It is not in my 'pursuit of happiness',
Nor my recovery from pain.
I keep telling you
That my greatness is in I.
You will hear my words when I am gone;
You will see my vision like notes in a song.
I keep telling you my greatness is not far from my cry!
I keep telling you to listen
I know I will convince you
when finally I lie
In a tomb; closed up and shut up in someone’s naive mind.
I keep telling you
My greatness is well in your sight
Look up kid,
My greatness is  in I.

Intimacy Step #1: Proposing to God

There can be no intimacy without love and no love without God so here goes, with a humbled, broken and repentant heart, here is my proposal....
Lord, on New Years Eve of 2006, You invited me to sit at Your table, to partake of Your body and blood given up for me. I accepted. Today, I invite You to sit at mine. This is my body and this really is my blood, this is me. You are most patient and kind. You have never taken anything from me just because 'You envied me'. Even though I have nothing of worth that You could possibly envy, still You never boast about it and are never proud nor haughty. When You challenge me or inspire, it is for my own good and not self-seeking.  You are not easily angered nor hold grudges against me. You rejoice when I begin to know and understand truth. You always protect me, always trusting me (giving me freewill and all), always hope (You have no need to hope because You are the Hope), always persevering.....I want to be intimate with you. I want You to be all that is within me. I  request Your Divine Presence in everything I do. I would like Your company wherever I go. I want to tell and show You everything that is going on with me. I never want to hide a thing! I trust You so much and You can overcome all my fears. I am over the age of consent and I am entering this relationship knowingly (Yes I have read the Bible, I have felt Your Holy Spirit) so I get who You are but I want to know more about You for as long as I shall live...(Because of Your Son JC, I know this means forever <3). I don't deserve You but here we are today...You amaze me! 

If I have no love for myself, I cannot have love for others. I am commanded to love others as I love myself (Matth 22.39). So the platform from which I will launch 'my reformed and transformed spirit' is that of love. (From today there is no 'unconditional love', no 'real love' because I know that any love which is other than that, is not love at all).


April 1: I CHOOSE to Stop plaYinG tHe FOOL in my LIFE

Here are a few things I will be working on over the next 40 days. I am excited that God has revealed these things about my nature. There maybe only one of me but there is definitely more to me and this is why I no longer see myself as single. So I have highlighted the issues, now I am going to live through the solutions through prayer and fasting.

The first issue I guess is INTIMACY. (If I am intimate with God, I know I can be intimate with a man, children or any person really-THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX ONLY).What is intimacy? Who am I intimate with? What is my relationship with Christ like? How intimate am I with Him? How can I be intimate?

WWMI-What woman am I? This is no longer about 'which hollywood actress am I? what kind of lover will I be?' It is about counting and stating my blessings; reviewing and understanding the purpose of my experiences and my existence. Because  I need to look at the woman I am today and acknowledge her greatness and stop hiding my 'light' under a bushell. (Suzanne Hadley).

TRUST- What is trust? What is the foundation of trust? Can I trust myself? Can I trust others? Do I trust God? I need to trust God's plan, my ability to choose, i.e. to trust my 'Godtuition' on most matters. I am 27 in a month and I have had 26 years to develop my identity so I definitely have more than an idea of what I need and what God expects of me.

No MORE SBDs (sell-by date). I don't have an SBD  because I am not on any market. I will always be valuable and valid.

GooD-BYE Metaphors! I am no longer going to use the 'waiting-at-a-bus-stop' or 'waiting-to-be-found (WTBF)' analogies because I have been found. Yes, I am no longer waiting to be 'swept away' by a 'dream-lover'. There's been enough hurricanes in this world...I need to learn to enjoy and embrace reality more.

RTS (remove the stick)-I am going to remove the stick from my eye now and see the beauty in myself and others so that I may see my own shortfalls more accurately; and that I may be able to see God's hand in my life more clearly.

Moving out of USS (United States of Singleness) because I know that I will not be in Single State forever. How do I change my state of mind? How do I stop feeling that I am alone (because I know I am not but how do I shake that feeling)?