For I was wrestling not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places just yesterday. I have come to realize that I am in debt. I owe my feelings updates, like I update my FB profile like twenty times a day to suit my mood, my feelings or the latest gossip. And of course, I update my tweets depending on what the stars are saying..its crazy but thats a whole other thing i need to deal with. I update my facial expressions when I am angry, happy, excited whatever the feeling But I hardly ever keep my heart upTOdate. Like its still pumping iAMsoMADatyoU blood through my arteries when my head and my soul are sending I-am-already-to-Forgive impulses..
So dear Heart, I am better today. I am actually quite happy. So happy I feel like wearing yellow. Crazy thing is I do remember what you went through yesterday. I remember how shocked you were at the betrayal of your mothers' home. i remember how disappointed you felt when you learnt that noone's perfect especially those you need to be. I remember how you cringed and ached at the apparent sexism at my workplace. You wanted to leap out of my chest and beat that man down and show him that my opinion was valuable. Oh how you ached for me when I had no shoulder to cry on and resolved to laying and crying on my hugest teddy bear. I especially remember how you tried to pumpITup today so I would feel excited at something even though it was just a walk down the street. I know you were disappointed when i shrunk into my skin and let the boys at work run my day. But dear heart, you Kept beating..I won't forget what you have done for me. I will not forget what you have trudged through
you must have been saying silent prayers because my joy is here and the stench of unforgiveness has passed. The desire to revenge has been melted away. Instead of seething CraZY, i am soothed. Revived is more I. I am even loving again and all in a day's work! You bled out the bad, and pumped in the Nu. Thanks You. I am better now!