And wisdom was daily His delight...

Proverbs 3.5-8
 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;
 6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight. 
 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
       fear the LORD and shun evil.
 8 This will bring health to your body
       and nourishment to your bones.

In Hamlet, Polonius says
This above all: to thine own self be true.

And this has been my anthem for the last couple of months I think or perhaps it is one of those philosophies I have always subscribed to subconsciously. Today, I learned that this was possibly the root of my problems....being ''true to myself above all'', above everything, above God. Who am I to so highly value my opinion, my thoughts, my ideas, my truth...I have only 27 years on me. Faith in myself goes up and down depending on the season, outfit or someone else' s opinion of me..How then can I be true to myself when myself is so easily swayed or dissuaded? I literally 'go with the wind! these days.

SO yesterday, after watching Lakewood Church service with Joel Osteen, he spoke of the value of the 100 dollar bill and no matter what crap it goes through, it is still a 100 dollar bill. That's me! My value never changes no matter how many things I have done, put myself through or to, no matter who likes me or not...My value was determined on that Cross at Golgotha where my Jesus was crucified. I have known for a while now that I have been backsliding and like I said to my friend just last night 'its not really the big bad blatant sins that are hurting my relationship with God but I am letting the little sneaky ones in'. And when one burrows into your flesh, it has Human Bot Fly effects! YUCK!

So yup I let 'lean on my own understanding' in. I let 'my own wisdom' in and they settled and laid eggs and pride drove humility out! Honestly, I didn't even feel like reading the Bible or going to church yet I was parched...thirsting for God's blessing but I guess I was scared He would tell me I was wrong about a lot of things, I was terrified He would chastise me in the worst way. I had judged myself and found myself über guilty but haha MERCY SAID NO! (Cece Winans). BLAH BLAH BLAH ETC ETC

WISDOM is where I landed today and I learned that:
  1. Proverbs 9:10. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding if I know God, I will understand among other things that Jer 29.11 and Rom 8.28 are true in all things and a whole more other things of course. 
  2. Prov 8 I need to get with the 'prudence and understanding heart' program (v5)
  3. Prov 8. 6-9. Wisdom says excellent things, right things, truth, righteousness, nothing crooked nor perverse. Wisdom speaks 'plain and right'. (P.S. Truth is spoken wisely not just blatantly and raw. It is also packaged in the 'righteousness deal'. not my truth but God's!)
  4. Prov 8.11. There is NOTHING that I may desire that has greater value than wisdom (yup job, hubby, kids, money, clothes, car, fame, fortune, businesses, blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, nothing? really? NOTHING!). 
  5. Prov 8.12 DISCRETION is necessary (it is unnecessary to air mine or other people's laundry even to a friend or family member who will never tell, N2K basis only!).
  6. Prov 8.13 I must hate evil, pride, arrogance and a perverse mouth (I must unlearn these skills with immediate effect. yes no more cussing in my head or with 'people-who-have-known-me- for-ages-and-no-me-better-than-that, no more racial slurs, judgmental comments in my head)
  7. Prov 8.14. Wisdom counsels (NOT ME, my experience, my opinion-->Wisdom from God's word brought to my lips by the Holy Spirit), Wisdom is understanding (I can't blame weird, immaturity or different anymore but aim to sympathize and empathize and listen and understand.....), Wisdom is STRONG!!!!
  8. Prov 8. 27. Those who seek wisdom will surely find it!
"Now then, my sons, listen to me;
       blessed are those who keep my ways.
 33 Listen to my instruction and be wise;
       do not ignore it.
 34 Blessed is the man who listens to me,
       watching daily at my doors,
       waiting at my doorway.
 35 For whoever finds me finds life
       and receives favor from the LORD.
 36 But whoever fails to find me harms himself;
       all who hate me love death."

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