Dear Talkoum or Waeva…Do you remember the time?

1. when you went into the garden and dared your aunt to spray you with cold water and she DID. You told mama, and she laughed so hard.

2. when the neighbour’s kid burnt down the house and all his twin sister could say was, momma’s gonna woop you.

3. when the teacher was just saying we will go to the toilet before the bus comes, and she turns around and sees me trying to haul my pee into my dress from the floor, and she says maybe we should go now. I heard a few of those.

4. my first selfless kiss: was when i kissed this booi whose arm had been hurt in the playground at nursery school…i gave him a peck on his left shoulder while we were waiting for our nannies to come pick us up. He is dead now.

5. when my neighbour friend taught me to smoke her father’s cigarettes. I was five.

6. when my sister threw a rock at our cousin and her eye swelled up and mum made us go to her house and apologise in the middle of the night. My sister was eight, i was five.

7. when my mum slapped me while naked and cold for putting soap in the bath and teaching my baby sister to skate. I was 9.

8. My dad hit me and i thought stretch marks were the scars from the beating until i learnt otherwise at 15.

9. I was the most liked in my class because i was smart in primary school.

10. i was a bully and hated the pretty girls in junior school.

11. when i told a kid in my class that Michael Jackson was my mum’s brother from a different mum just coz i had a really cool pen that i said he gave me.

12. i cried myself to sleep when i watched Michael Jackson concert in Bucharest.

13. i used to pretend to be dancing to Michael Jackson when i needed the loo.

14. i cut myself on my thigh on the sink trying to get collamine lotion when i had chicken pox. I was so scared to tell my mum because that was the same day i discovered condoms. I opened it and it was so slippery, i stuffed it back in. if i had shown them i had hurt myself, i would have been caught out. So i just put salt on it for three whole weeks and never said anything.

A2A