Why Wasn't I Afraid?

Your arms were held out open to me
All the while,
You knew
I was in despair
And in dire confusion
With neither perspective nor goals.

 it was simpler to be lost,
Better even, 
that with time all would be forgot.

But why wasn’t I afraid to be a wanderer,
lacking faith and composure
And  fearing trust?

Forgive me lord, I forgot my worth,
The cross carried for me;
The tears wept for me;
The blood shed for me...
I forgot,
Your love which binds me eternally to You
Which can never be compromised,
Which will never fail,
Which shields me from my foes
Which strengthens me in any confrontations
Which guides me
And  my family too!

Why wasn’t I afraid to leave you, God?
Why was I so quick to step away?
I was quick to reject you:
To deny you
As you were tortured within.
I let your son suffer for me each day.

Have I neither remorse nor shame?
Have I no sorrow, no respect, no fear, no belief?
Forgive me Lord, I forgot my loyalty
And my place.
I am here again
Weak and helpless as a child
Clothe me
Hold me 
And please don’t ever wean me. 

Some issues take longer to resolve than to create.
Are they even worth it?

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