6/20/09

Portrait on the Wall

There’s a picture of me on my mother’s dining wall. I hated it until I began to write this. I will explain why...It was taken when I was fifteen I think. All I know was that it was at my unfashionable peak! I had corn rows that were starting to loosen. I must add CORNROWS…not a good look for me. Anyway I was wearing this gorgeous black and white shimmering dress. Please note that this description does not do the dress justice. Then I had to go and wear a pair of blue silvery pants underneath. I somehow thought the trousers wouldn’t show and I giddily posed for each photograph as if there was no problem down under. Cameraman didn’t bother to tell me this through his digital camera. RIPOFF? Anyway this particular photograph shows my unshaped eyebrows, my hormonal oily skin and the pimple spread on my forehead. It’s a sideview photograph and this was not the dimple side so I sincerely believed, until now of course, that it was my worst side EVER. I have tried to be rid of it (the picture), I hid it, I swapped it, I used to put it facedown when boyfs came over and my parents always flipped it on me. “Your beautiful. You look so sweet. That’s who you are, why must you be ashamed? What are you saying about us if you think your ugly”…guilt trip ensues, I get on the train and give in. END RESULT: Picture stays up!
Well I looked up at it as I was having brekkie with mum, today. Then I looked at my mum and I felt authenticated (so stealing from AKSuperwoman). I am the child of an educated, sophisticated woman. She despises no one and respects each person to his/her core. She is always improving herself and she perseveres regardless of the odds against her. She is prayerful. She milks every experience so it becomes a foundation of growth for herself and everyone she encounters. She loves. She teaches. She is also quite assertive. She works so haaard. I tear up when I speak of her so LONGSTORYSHORT…I nearly cried as I looked at the portrait on the wall as I hoped and realized that one day I could be a minute/a second of the woman she is today. So bring on the pimples, bring on the mismatched outfit and hoily (porous and oily) skin because I am blessed that the picture on the wall is my mother’s daughter.

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