God is good and something in the air is trying to make me feel otherwise but He reigns, He is my King, mine. He loves me for my sake.He stays with me for my sake. He forgives me for my sake. He gives for my sake. He frees for my sake. He lived for my sake. He died for my sake. He rose again for my sake. Nothing can prosper unless its from Him. The victory belongs to Him. The tears can come. He will wipe them away. The pain can come and He will comfort me. I shall not fear nor be overcome! I refuse, in your name Jesu. My faith in my King suffices to wash over this fear. Talitha Koum, He says. I rise my Lord. I rise! Amen!
As for you, how dare you try and take my joy! How dare you use my aunt’s memory to weaken me! How dare you use family against family! How dare you use our desires as the foundations of our graves when they are meant to establish our homes and our dreams! How dare you twist them! There is no room for you here. Take your greed, take your lust, take your unforgiveness, take your selfishness, take your arrogance, take your cruelty, take your unhelpfulness, take your fear, take your anxiety, take your pride.
I am no fool, I have sought wise counsel and I have gained knowledge and affirmation that my God is my Keeper, my Shelter, my Harbour. You thought I would bury my head, binge drink or eat huh? curse God and die...pssh you have left me where I need to be….on my knees, a little broken, contrite and humbled! But As I rise, I know I am stronger for I am full of His Spirit. It never wanes like you. you are fickle and His Spirit is true. Get thee behind me! Get thee behind us!
My Lord, My God. You have not forsaken me. I breathe still. Glory2God!