Since I have been back at uni, it's been freezing. Everything was covered in snow or ice and I rarely left my room. Today, after two days of hibernating-I left my room and went to Church at 6.30pm in the evening. It was already quite dark but it was pretty warm, I felt. I had two pairs of tights on, socks, jeans, a singlet, a top, cardigan and a jacket...no hat and gloves though. I was ready to 'fight the freeze' so much that when I got to the church I was all sweaty-nasty nasty. But that could be because I got lost and took the long way round, like for example, lets say you want to take a step forward right- I took one to the right, four steps forward, went up and down a staircase, took six steps to the left, then finally four steps backwards, one to the left, four to the right THEN called somebody for directions...YES it was my first day at this particular church and yes people, cliché I know but I WAS LOST.
I had been googling for a bible college over the holiday because I promised God that when I came to uni, I would subscribe to one. I didn't do it to get plus points from Him but it is something I have always wanted to do and I strongly believe God would like that for me too. I found Calvary Chapel Church which is a branch of the Calvary Chapel Bible College and I made up my mind to go and check it out. They have two services on Sunday- one at 10am and the other at 7pm so duh I woke up in time for the 7 o'clock one. Before Microsoft Word randomly deleted my first attempt at this blog post- I had written something like this 'I wasn't ready to proclaim my undying love for this church but since the foundations of all good relationships are God and He is love (because they did kill Jesus but He rose again and He was the expression of God's love amongst many other glorious things-AMEN) which is literally undying , so I will proclaim Undying Love for them, not mine but God's eternal love because they are good "peoples" – they give you cake and tea for free, yes frei!!! They seem like good and friendly people PLUS I heard my God's Word there today. I enjoyed it...here are a few titbits I learnt:
- I must give God my own glory and strength which is honestly from Him anyway so I must use my purpose for Him- Ps 29.2
- God's voice knocks the socks of the world's feet basically. When he speaks-huge trees break: What more of trying circumstances or my own vanity, or lost souls? God's Word always achieves its purpose!!!
- There is absolutely no good reason for me to feel secure JUST BECAUSE I have enough pocket money and all the text books I need; am at a good university; or my parents are still living and are working hard to provide for the entire family- none of these things justify the self-assurance/security I feel all the time-GOD DOES. Men lie, Women lie, Numbers lie too unless of course it's that Numbers 23.19, Kookie enlightened us on.
- God's anger lasts only for a moment-WOW! I was so mad at this one boy for the better part of my day today, and even now I have to consciously absolve him and do a mental shake up so I don't dwell on it. I had to say another prayer for him as I typed because I don't find it easy to let go when am offended especially when I am not apologised to! But God, He moves on (while the consequences of your defiance against His Word/Guidance catch up with you) YET YET YET when you ask for His mercy and grace, He gives it just like that!
- And the favour He gives you after that lasts a lifetime! Me- I would be like I have done too many nice things for this person (do note that my favour on any person/thing has nothing on God's), and I start feeling like that person is taking advantage of me- YET YET YET God's most wonderful favour is unfolding throughout the days of my entire life and afterward without RESERVATION. He gives with His right hand (if anyone knows why this means bountifully, please tell me. I thought because Jesus sat there, on His right Hand explained it but maybe there's more to it).
- He faithfully turns our wailing into dancing-evidenced by all the deaths I saw last year and the joys of birth, weddings, love Him that I also experienced.
- For the sake of His name, He leads and guides me-He does all these things because of who He is.
- He sees my afflictions and knows the anguish of my soul
- My times are in His hands-one can die before their time because of foolishness Ecclesiastes 7.17. Yup I learnt that today. I thought we just died because God planned it so but actually sometimes we can die because of our own craziness so I must be consciously careful not to test My Lord.
- He preserves me, I must love Him- if I can't love God for Who is for me then how can I possibly claim to love anyone? If I can't love Him completely- with my everything, then ?????
- Because I hope in the Lord, I must take heart and be strong always...